If you’d met me back when my story starts in 2013, you would have seen a successful City banker, totally on top of her game, always in control and the go-to person for anything and everything. You may have thought “she has it all.” But there are a few bits you would have missed…
I was completely exhausted. Not just the general kind of exhausted, but the kind where everything was a massive effort. It didn’t matter whether it was a weekday in the office, the weekend or a holiday, I was emotionally drained. Every little challenge seemed like a really big deal – the slightest thing and I would fly off the handle, I couldn’t stand anything going ‘wrong’.
I also became quite cynical - people started rubbing me up the wrong way. I was always gracious and professional on the outside but internally I would be frustrated and wish everyone would leave me alone.
And…I felt totally ineffective. I didn’t feel like I was doing a good enough job at anything, didn’t feel I deserved what I had and I felt totally trapped.
This didn’t feel like “me” but I just put it down to be a busy working professional, living in London with young kids. After all, aren’t we all stressed? The thought of asking for help or admitting I was struggling to cope didn’t even cross my mind.
Burnout takes its time, I lived like this for four years until one day everything came crashing down. One Sunday, out of nowhere I suddenly felt totally overwhelmed and I had the mother of all panic attacks. In the blur of the days and weeks which followed, the panic attacks became more frequent and I was in a constant state of severe anxiety. I hit rock bottom and thought I would never be the same again….it was the most terrifying time of my life. Initially, I could not get my head around why this was happening to me and my initial response was to try and fight it….which only made it worse!
As I came to terms with what was happening and started the long process to recovery, I realised that something had to change. I desperately needed to manage my stress, prioritise myself and start living life on my terms.
That was the beginning of my journey to recovery. Fast forward to today, the world looks completely different. I have taken ownership of my life, prioritised myself and embraced the true meaning of self-love. I also realised that my purpose is to use my journey to help others. I trained as a Wellbeing Coach and starting sharing my story.
I am passionate about wellbeing, including the impact that our mind-set has on everything we do, from the small daily actions we take through to big life decisions. I have an interest in both individual & corporate wellbeing and work with individual clients, groups and large organisations.